Tonight is the night. How will the ping pong balls bounce? Only the Lottery Gods can be sure.
Dear Lottery Gods,
Hi! You may not know me, but I’m fully aware of you and what you do. We are writing today on behalf of the Minnesota Timberwolves franchise, their players, and most importantly, their fans.
We sound familiar don’t we? Throughout our 31 year history, we have participated in your annual event 22 times. This year we received our 23rd invitation to the prestigious event alongside the elite class of guests you host every summer. We’ve long been honored to be in attendance and this year is no different.
Last year you were so kind as to give us the #1 overall selection in the draft and for that, we are forever grateful. Still, we earned the right to have a good shot at that pick. We tanked our season away and came away with the best chance (tied with Cleveland and Golden State) at securing the top pick. So, technically, we never have moved up in the lottery.
Yes, we know, we’ve had a plethora of #1 overall draft picks play for our franchise recently, but only two of those came for free. Karl-Anthony Towns and Anthony Edwards are players we tanked hard for and you were gracious enough to let our slot stay at #1. Other than that, Andrew Wiggins and Anthony Bennett had to be traded for and Derrick Rose only came because our former head coach and President of Basketball Operations has a weird obsession with living in the past.
You might not know this, because you’ve been doing this for a long time, but we’ve actually never had the lottery work aggressively in our favor. Sure, there have been a number of occasions where we’ve come away from your event with the prize that we were promised, but we’ve never been on the receiving end of a jump. Year after year, we find ourselves in our predetermined spot or somewhere lower. I’m not bringing this up to argue, or even to wonder why, but rather to ask that this year be different. We come here year after year and would like to once end up with a pick higher than we’re slotted.
You may be wondering, why is this the year to help us? Well, we typically come to you expecting a top selection because we’ve consistently been a bottom feeder in the standings. Well, this year we come to you with the 6th worst record and a chance to move us up. We understand that you can’t move up when you’re already projected at the top, so this year we played hard at the end of the season, when it would’ve been much easier to lose on purpose, and have come to you with the chance to jump us up a couple slots. We’ve been patient and we thought maybe this time we could get a little help from your end. We should mention, we’re not even here to ask for the #1 overall pick this time. #2 or #3 would be AMAZING as well. We aren’t that greedy.
Not to mention that, but our old owner – yes the cheap one – is on his way out and we have a couple hot shot new guys coming in. We’re worried if we don’t start winning some games, they may look to move our team to another city. We’d be devastated if that happened. All we need is a little luck during your lottery event to add some talent to our roster and keep our casual fans interested. That, in turn, will help the new owners get a stadium built and keep our team in Minnesota.
Not to mention, we are bringing a fan favorite to take our place at the (virtual) table this year. Last year’s #1 pick (who we are so grateful you helped us land in Minnesota) Anthony Edwards will be representing us during the lottery.
While he’s helping you out, many of us Timberwolves fans will be sipping on the Buzzer Beater Honey Hazy IPA at Forgotten Star Brewery in Fridley, MN while watching. That’s right, we will be enjoying a beer named after your glorious game of basketball. How many other franchises have fans that are that dedicated?
So, what do you say, help us out just this once (for the first time) and we’ll let you get to know someone new for the next few years as they take our spot at your table. It’s been great to get to know you, and I’m sure we will be back eventually, but we figured it’d be a great time to give up our seat for a while.
The Minnesota Timberwolves and their fans