Record: 14-14
I do not fish, but every single person that I know that fishes has one of those stories. You know the ones—boring. Well since starting this experiment I now have the gambling version of the “SHUT UP NOBODY CARES” story and you’re going to read about it.
Last week among other picks, Clay Travis picked the Over 59.5 in the Oklahoma State-Arkansas game, writing “Who wins? Who cares? Just enjoy the points, the over’s the play.”
Who cares who wins is a deeply stupid way of watching sports. It is such a strange view of entertainment and I genuinely hate what I am about to write here. On Saturday I checked in on this game at the end of the third quarter and was pleasantly surprised that Arkansas was winning 21-13. Oklahoma proceeded to reel of 15 points (two point conversation naturally) to take a lead. Arkansas then score again to tie the game with four minutes remaining. By any right way to think about watching a football game, this fourth quarter was awesome. Two teams that had decided that defense was an unnecessary hindrance served up long passes that normally only make sense in NCAA and receivers kept coming down with them.
And I hated it.
I hated it because the two teams had combined for 56 points and a touchdown by Oklahoma State would mean that Clay would win a bet that (and this is important) he did not profess to care about who wins. Then, Oklahoma State’s drive stalled (in part because one of the worst false start calls I’ve seen in awhile) and so they kicked a field goal. Game on with 55 seconds to go! At which point the Pokes’s defense promptly shit the bed and Arkansas’s kicker made a field goal as time expired.
Clay wins. We lose. Who cares about which team won (Oklahoma State in a very funny way)? There is no joy in this approach to watching entertainment. It is the equivalent to betting whether or not a character will be on screen 74 minutes into a movie instead of caring about the plot of the movie.
Fading Clay’s Picks for Week 3
UNLV +7.5 at Kansas and the over 57.5.
Our mechanical bets. Kansas -7.5 and the under.
Alabama at Wisconsin +16.5 and the under 50.5
Our mechanical bets. Bama -16.5 and the over. Roll Tide y’all.
LSU at South Carolina, the under 49.5
Our mechanical bet. The over.
Boston College at Missouri, the over 53.5
Our mechanical bet. The under.
West Virginia at Pittsburgh, the under 63.5
Our mechanical bet. The over.
Texas A&M at Florida, the under 46.5
Our mechanical bet. The over.
Oregon at Oregon State +16.5
Our mechanical bet. Oregon -16.5
Washington State +4.5 at Washington
Our mechanical bet. Washington -4.5
Virginia Tech at Old Dominion +15
Our mechanical bet. Virginia Tech -15.
Ole Miss at Wake, the over 63.5
Our mechanical bet. The under.
Georgia -24 at Kentucky
Our mechanical bet. Kentucky +24.
Colorado at Colorado State +7.5
Our mechanical bet. Colorado -7.5
Kent State at Tennessee -49
Our mechanical bet. Kent State +49.