Micah Parsons’ season-ending injury took a lot of air out of the Green Bay Packers’ balloon. A defense trending towards dominance lost its most essential piece on the chessboard. Recovering from that won’t be easy, and the first test is Saturday night against the Chicago Bears in a game that should decide the NFC North.
If the Bears can’t beat this version of a battered Packers team, what are we even doing here?
Parsons joined a group that already included star tight end Tucker Kraft, star offensive lineman Elgton Jenkins, and Green Bay’s best interior defensive lineman, Devonte Wyatt, when he was ruled out for the season. On top of the season-ending injuries, the Packers opened the week with 16 players on the injury report, nine of whom were DNPs.
As the week progressed, the status brightened for wide receiver Christian Watson but stayed dim for the likes of Zach Tom and Evan Williams, both of whom were also injured in the Denver Broncos game. The bell cow in the running back room, Josh Jacobs, hasn’t practiced all week.
“But the Bears won’t have Rome Odunze!” a horde of babbling Bears fans will exclaim as they chug down another overrated hot dog from Portillo’s.
Is that the same Rome Odunze whose dad has been on a Twitter crusade all season, bellowing that Chicago needs to trade his son because they’re not using him correctly?
Consider us less than intrigued by any Bears fans who try to compare Odunze’s absence to Green Bay’s injury list, which looks as horrifying as the total debt Chicago has accumulated under mayor Brandon Johnson.
Back to the subject at hand.
On Saturday night, Green Bay will enter Soldier Field without their starting tight end, center, defensive tackle, and All-World edge rusher. The Pack will likely be without their best offensive lineman, right tackle Zach Tom, as well as star safety Williams. They could also be without their starting running back, his backup, their top wide receiver, one of his backups, and Tom’s backup at right tackle. Just for good measure, Kingsley Enagbare, who is expected to have a much larger role with Parsons out, popped up randomly on Friday’s injury report as a DNP.
Throw the odds out the window. Forget what the bookmakers are saying. Their minds are polluted with over three decades of continuous ass-whoopings delivered by the Packers to the Bears.
How do the Bears lose this matchup?
Everything is stacked against Green Bay. Chicago — if you ask Bears fans — has a top-five quarterback in the league! Chicago has — again, if you ask Bears fans — the best run game in football! It has the No. 1 defense in takeaways and interceptions! Trying to envision a Packers win is impossible!
Head coach Ben Johnson has done some of his best troll work throughout the week, even saying on Wednesday that without Parsons, not much will change for Green Bay’s defense.
“Just because one player goes down,” Johnson said, “that doesn’t mean that this is going to change a whole lot for them.”
Someone needs to tell Ben to keep his shirt on for these numbers.
Parsons, per Rob Demovsky of ESPN, had 66 pass-rush wins this year. The combination of Enagbare, Wyatt Rashan Gary, Lukas Van Ness, and Karl Brooks had 67. Combined.
This Packers’ defense won’t have a whole lot change with the Parsons injury? Spare us the escape door exit in case you lose, Benny. Johnson really went to the ends of the earth, then doubled down on how difficult it will be for Chicago to prepare for things with Parsons gone.
“You’re trying to forecast what they might do to match certain personnel groups or slow down our run game,” Johnson said. “That’s a difficult thing to do when that injury happened last game. We have to be prepared to adjust and play accordingly.”
How miserable it must be to prepare for a Packers defense without a generational player in Parsons. Certainly, it’d be much easier to play against Jeff Hafley’s defense if Parsons were healthy!
Johnson would make a hell of a door-to-door salesman or Jehovah’s Witness.
The reality is that the Packers are dealing with a million injuries while Chicago is riding high after a blowout win over the daunting Cleveland Browns. Chicago can’t lose this game. Imagine if they did? Imagine how devastating it would be for Bears fans if Green Bay strolled into Chicago Saturday night and did what it has done for over 30 years?
Nah. There’s just no way. The Bears have to win this game. They’re healthier, the game is at home, and they currently lead the division. Hell, ask their fans, and they’ll yell so loud they’ll spray some au jus that’s been used to dunk their limp Italian beef sandwich: This is not a fraudulent team, they are, in fact, a Super Bowl contender!
Sure, guys.
If the Bears can’t beat the Packers at their lowest point, dealing with a million injuries, it’d be beyond embarrassing. They absolutely have to win on Saturday night.