Avoid the swept, please.
First Pitch: 11:20 AM
TV: Bally Sports North, MLB Network (out of market)
Radio: TIBN, WCCO 830, The Wolf 102.9 FM, Audacy
Know Thine Enemy: Battery Power
(I was at a Renaissance Faire over the weekend. I’m in that kind of mood.)
Come all Minnesotans, give an ear to my word;
There’s baseball teams playing, or haven’t you heard
That our home club’s a squad that has yet to enthrall—
Pay heed to the stadium and fathom the ball.
We’ll fathom the ball, we’ll fathom the ball;
Pay heed to the stadium and fathom the ball.
We’re under .500, though still in our grip
The Central, our division, we mustn’t let slip.
But watching us flail leaves a wearisome pall—
This tedious play I can’t fathom at all.
Can’t fathom at all, can’t fathom at all;
This tedious play I can’t fathom at all.
What happens through the rest of this year’s second half
Might lead us to swig from a booze-filled carafe.
But should we catch fire and should play in the fall—
Make speed to the stadium and fathom the ball!
We’ll fathom the ball, we’ll fathom the ball;
Make speed to the stadium and fathom the ball!
We’ll fathom the ball, we’ll fathom the ball;
Agreed — we’ll parade ‘em and fathom the ball!