Buxton Good, Bullpen Bad: A tale a old as time.
The last home game of this miserable forsaken year started off promising, with Byron “Extend Me Already, What The Hell, I Mean Really, C’mon” Buxton leading off the bottom of the first with a homerun.
Joe Ryan and the Twins managed to keep that lead for an entire inning, before Niko Goodrum hit his own solo dong. Anyway this recap is brought to you buy Niko’s Good Rum, the Goodest Rum on the market, on tap at a bar near you!
Josh Donaldson, son of Donald Joshalson, brought the lead back in the bottom of said inning with more dongage, a 3 run one this time, foreshadowing how this game as going to be a dong fan’s wet dream.
However, in the 4th Harold Castro ruined the dong streak with an RBI double. Then in a top 10 Anime Betrayal of all time, former Twin Niko Goodrum his another homerun, a 3 runner, and gave the Tigers the lead.
I wonder if a Twin will hit a homerun to tie it back up in the bott of the inni- oh yep, there one goes. Thanks Brent Rooker.
Jonathan Schoop singled in a run in the 5th, giving the Tigers back the lead, again. This one held until the 6th when Luis Arraez did the same thing.
In the bottom of the 7th, Byron Buxton went deep AGAIN, then presumably turned directly to the camera, stared deadpan for 10 beats, and then asked “Where is my EXTENSION?” before running the bases in 5 seconds while solving a rubix cube.
Unfortunately, Harold Castro, Willi Castro (No Relation) and ….Dustin Garneau (A real person and not Justin in a trenchcoat reading a newspaper on a bench.) all got RBI’s in the 8th, and Schoop got another dong off in the 9th. The Twins did not do any more scoring, so whoopser doopser, that’s one last 2021 home loss!
ROBOTIC ROLL CALL!!!!!!
Aaaand that’s a wrap for Tawny on the 2020 season. Big thanks to all who tolerated my increasingly blaaaaaaaaaah recaps and to everyone who kept commenting even though the Twins lost a zillion games!
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