Twins 11, Diamondbacks 1: Solomon Bundy

The Twins resurrect Dylan Bundy with an explosive offensive performance.

In a world where Dylan Bundy is required to pitch a baseball game, the Twins got creative and found a way to win — by scoring eleven runs and throttling the Snakes on their home turf to even the series at a game apiece.

If Byron Buxton’s second-pitch homer felt like an ambush last night, this one felt like a sneak-attack. With two innings in the books, the Twins came out to bat in the visiting third and laid down a six-run beating, featuring doubles from Max Kepler and Alex Kirilloff, and an absolute blast of a two-run homer by Gary Sanchez.

It wasn’t the warmest welcome for Luke Weaver, making his 2022 debut. He would return to right the shp in the fourth, but all he could do was cough up three more — Kepler added another RBI, and Gio Urshela doubled in a pair. All told, Weaver’s line featured 3.2 innings, and nine earned runs on ten hits. A real, “yikes, Scoob” moment, to be sure.

The Twins held off until the seventh, when Ryan Jeffers teed off for his fifth homer of the season, a two-run shot to push the lead into double-digits.

“But what,” you say, “of Dylan Bundy?”

“Well,” I respond, “let me tell you!”

“Hold on,” you say, “I thought I just heard my phone ring.”

But you didn’t, and after an awkward pause, you ask me to resume the story, but I’ve lost my train of thought a bit, so you remind me where we were. Dylan Bundy!

Against all odds, Dylan Bundy pitched eight innings, allowed four hits, struck out seven, and didn’t walk a batter. With a combination of workhorse energy, xGRIT, and Oklahoma sweat, the big righty soft-tossed his way back into relevance, carving up the Arizona lineup for his best start as a Twin.

Much to the moral consternation of LaTroy Hawkins, the home nine elected to burn a position player on the mound in the ninth; infielder Jake Hager became the only Arizona pitcher not to allow a run in an incredibly clean inning.

Jharel Cotton got the chance to finish it off (not a position player! You’re welcome, LaTroy. Have a garlic fry on me.)

STUDS:

SP Dylan Bundy (8 IP, 4 H, 1 ER, 0 BB, 7 K)

2B Luis Arraez (2-for-2, 2 R, had to #2, BB)

SS Carlos Correa (2-for-5, 2 R, RBI)

RF Max Kepler (2-for-5, 2 R, 2 RBI, 2B)

DH Gary Sanchez (1-for-3, R, 2 RBI, 2 BB, HR)

Honorary duds to the Alex Kirilloffs and Ryan Jeffers of the world

DUDS:

Get out of here with that noise, brother

ROBOT ROLL CALL:

To my knowledge no robots were in attendance tonight, and they would have had to complete CAPTCHAs to get in anyway.

The Twins are done with their west coast trip tomorrow, as they’ll look to mark this down as a won series. Hope to see you on Sunday afternoon!