The Twins’ oft-maligned starter turns in a terrific performance.
Chris Paddack, whom I’ve made fun of (along with everyone else), shows why the Twins wanted him in the first place; he was mixing speeds and locations very effectively tonight. And the offense had enough to live with. Inning-by-inning notes:
1: Mike Yastrzemski is the grandson of Carl. Willy Adames hits one within Steve Bartman reach of being a homer; it’s foul, and he strikes out.
Leadoff triplets for Lord Byron! Trevor Forever knocks him in. Larnach gets doubled off on a screaming France line drive to 1B, but 1-0 Twins
2: Environmental ad showing forests, oceans, things in danger right now. It’s for Citizen watches. Buy an overpriced watch, save the planet. Next up, Rolex is saving baby seals or something.
Correa has a one-out single although nothing comes of it. Jordan Hicks’s sinker wasn’t sinking much in the first; he seems like he’s (unfortunately) settling in.
3: Actually useful Apple TV stat: Paddack averages 19 pitches per inning. That’s high. (Ideally you want 15 or less.) He’s at 28 through 3 here — guys are really missing that slider. (Which looks like a curve to me, but whudda I know.)
Hicks still on it. Apple complaining that Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds should be in the HOF. Nobody’s stopping them from buying tickets.
4: Moving Right Along… which is the title of a song from The Muppet Movie. Those songs (which are very, very good) were written by Paul Williams, an elfin little weirdo who never learned to read music. He’s also in the great movie Phantom of the Paradise, although the songs in that aren’t as good as the Muppet Movie ones.
And that’s today’s random Film Facts. 12 up, 12 down for Paddack.
Ty France breaches Hicks’s Maginot Line with a bloop single. He steals on a 3-2 hit-and-run where Patrick Bailey’s throw beats him by a LOT but it’s in the dirt. Correa knocks him in — that’s two hits for slow-starting Carlos! Twins 2-0
5: Chris Paddack is pitching a PERFECT GAME. This won’t continue but I would be so happy if it did.
Apple sideline reporter on Bader moving from CF (because Buxton): “he loves it, he says it’s like getting a new girlfriend.” OK. He knocks a single, which must be like getting your new girlfriend to send you a fun selfie? Takes second on a VERY wild pitch. Kody Clemens HBP (something his dad was good at, too). Buxton singles! No RBI, as LF Heliot Ramos (great name!) bobbles the ball — Bader was originally held at third. ANOTHER WP moves up the runners, but France pops out, still, Our Lads in Strange Unis 3-0
6: Paddack in the sixth for the first time this year. Naturally, it’s Christian Koss — batting .195 — who breaks up El Perfecto. I swear I saw that coming.
The umpteenth ad for Google’s AI baseball-watching app. Sci-fi writers have imagined computers destroying the world basically since computers started existing; nobody predicted it would be from the utter stupidity of ubiquitous crappy AI and bitcoin. Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. From what I’ve tasted of desire, I hold with those who favor fire. But if it had to perish twice, it’d be the dumbest crummiest tech none of those smart sci-fi writers could have thought up. Oh well.
7: Paddack still in, ye gods I wouldn’t have predicted this! Matt Chapman homers, alas. But Paddack’s still only at 79 pitches. I’m guessing he’s done, but maybe not. This is why friends call me The Oracle.
Giants reliever Kyle Harrison has a tricky 3/4 delivery and throws hard. Our Harrison takes a one-out walk and makes a steal and looks cocky enough to compare position changes to new girlfriends. Royce Lewis in to PH! Takes a pretty hittable strike 3. Buxton IBB, wise move. Larnach gets to try lefty/lefty matchup and it doesn’t thrill us. Twins 3-1
8: Paddack still in and gives up the leadoff single. A flyout to right, and it’s bullpen time. Jax & Duran pitched last two games, so it’ll be The Other Guys. And St. Paul’s Louis V. gets it done! Nice Target Field ovation for Paddack as he comes out.
A two-out walk to Ryan “I wish my parents had named me Jeff” Jeffers. Naught arises therebyfrom.
9: Danny “Electric Charge” Coulombe in for the save opportunity. Nasty tight curve/cutter (cuttve?) for leadoff strikeout. Same for next batter! And another one makes it sixth straight no duds, Twins win!
Studs of the game: Paddack of course! Buxton gets an IBB because when he’s healthy, you IBB him, he’s really good. Possibly hopeful 2-4 for Correa. Coulombe is doing great right now.
Many good comments tonight, even if the game was on a TV channel that people who paid good money for MLB.com or Twins TV couldn’t watch (I hear ya, JcS — I think those subscribers should get a refund for these games). Comments of the game go to Nagurskiinsandpouint for asking that we treat each other better, gintzer for correctly calling a foul ball live at the game, Kirillofffan19 for identifying lefty relievers the Twins should get next year, and Minnesota 1952 for “A Coulombeoscopy to clean up a Twims Wim.”
Tomorrow’s game is on the FOX airwaves broadcast, and features something called a Logan Webb against our own junk-talcing Joe Ryan at 6:15. Be there or be a polygon with four sides of equal length!