Julien socks two of the Twins’ FIVE dongs!
(pop…)
(six…)
(hits…)
(uh-huh…)
(ratio…)
(dipshits…)
And now, the six standout STUDLINESSES of the Twin Cities teammates in their rendition of: the Ballpark Banger.
(pop… six… hits… uh-huh… ratio… dipshits…)
(pop… six… hits… uh-huh… ratio… dipshits…)
Pop — six — hits — uh-huh — ratio… dipshits…
Pop! Six! Hits! Uh-huh! Ratio! Dipshits!
Pop! Six! Hits! Uh-huh! Ratio! Dipshits!
They had it comin’!
They had it comin’!
They only have themselves to blame.
If you’d have been here,
If you’d have played it,
I bet you you would have won this game.
(Pop! Six! Hits! Uh-huh! Ratio! Dipshits!)
(Pop! Six! Hits! Uh-huh! Ratio! Dipshits!)
You know how baseball has these early innings that like to get you down? Like Thursday: Thursday had us all numb. So, got to… pop. So I lead off the sixth frame and now I’m more infuriated and I’m looking for a little pitch for battering. And it’s early, two initial balls, seeking my pitch and swinging. No, not swinging: popping!
Then I’m up again, I said, “I’ll pop that ball one more time…” and I did! So I round the bases one more time and we’re all teeing off — instantly led!
They had it comin’!
They had it comin’!
They only have themselves to blame.
If you’d have been here,
You would have crushed it:
I bet you you would have won this game.
I bet that swing must have stung that Ed was hitting about one spot before, so I’m up: don’t want a single, want to hit the ball right away. So I started thinking to hit it: I’d hit the ball, I’d come home, I’d put on the vest, soon we’re winning. And then he threw it. “Single?” I’m thinking, “Single my ass.” Not only am I hitting, oh no, we’ll get six runs. Starting a comeback, you know? So that pitch, when it came to the plate, I gave it a swing. You know, some parks just can’t hold that ball I hit.
They had it comin’!
They had it comin’!
They saw our power in our prime.
And when we hit it,
We never quit it,
Because we’ll murder them every time!
Now, I’m standing on the rubber, carving up the lineup like dinner, ready to do business. Up comes Chicago’s lineup; down they go for days. “They’ll be missing my pitches,” I think, I’ll keep playing and they’ll keep on steaming: “They’ll be missing my pitches.” And then they’re heading to the bench. They’re heading to the bench six times.
If you’d have been there,
If you’d have played it,
I bet you you would have won this game!
¿Cómo terminé aquí? Dicen que mi tiempo se acabó, que mi carrera se fue al baño, que no puedo jugar en absoluto. Pero no es cierto, tengo talento. No sé por qué la gente dice que no puedo batear; lo probaré en la caja de bateo.
(Yeah, but did you do it?)
Uh-huh! Now hitting!
(They had it comin’…)
These pitchers can’t throw the ball; need to double down, and we’re hitting early, ready to clown on them. Now, with that last homer at the bat, we’re getting plenty going batting, two in a row. One, two, three, four, five, hits, long homers, deep shots, longballs, one right after the other. See, these few games before today, we’re hitting a middling ratio, so seeing us hitting’s bringing it all back. And our veins are like ice, so it’s my turn to hit one. I come up, give it a swing, and here’s a floating ball that’s flying, heading further to the seats: a long homer! Well, I had been at the plate to rock; I slammed the ball with my swing! It’s great to hit a tater when we are walking all over the Sox: we’ll put the series to bed!
They had it comin’!
They had it comin’!
They had it comin’ all along!
We knew we’d do it,
And when we’d done it,
How can you tell us we won’t be strong?
They had it comin’!
They had it comin’!
They had it comin’ all along!
We knew we’d do it,
And when we’d done it,
How can you tell us we won’t be strong?
I knew those dipshits swore while striking out. They had a few on the bases late, hoped to win, to take it, but they were always falling behind themselves. They’d come up each frame looking for a score, and every frame they found squat, zero, jack diddly, and nothing. I guess you could say that we won because of our basic differences: they saw themselves as ahead, and we saw they lost!
The DUDS are none, none, none, none, none…
The DUDS are none, none, none, none, none…
We had a COMMENT!
We had a COMMENT!
We had a COMMENT OF THE GAME!
A quip on tacos
Ought not to shock us,
And it’s JohnFoley who gets acclaim!
They had it comin’!
They had it comin’!
They ought to hide themselves in shame.
If you’d have been there,
If you’d have seen it,
I bet you you would have won this game!
(…I’ll pop that ball one more time!…)
(…single, my ass…)
(…six times…)
(…dice que no puedo batear…)
(…further to the seats, a long homer…)
(…our basic differences…)
(pop…)
(six…)
(hits…)
(uh-huh…)
(ratio…)
(dipshits…)