Witty, off-handed, 2010-era Cracked.com-esque barb.
Uh-oh! It seems in their bout of summer cleaning, the Pohlad family accidentally shipped off our library of descriptors, our access to humor, and our capacity for verbosity. As a result, today’s article will be devoid of personality, wanting for identity, and created with bare-minimum effort — hey, kind of like the 26-man roster of YOUR Minnesota Twins!
In the meantime, we’ll have to scrounge together whatever words we can use to get you from Point A to Point B here tonight, at least until we get some replacement nouns and adjectives up from the minor leagues — — hey, kind of like the 26-man roster of YOUR Minnesota Twins! Isn’t that fun?
So, let’s see what happened.
This afternoon, the game started! When it did, Bailey Ober was pitching. Tanner Bibee was also pitching, but he was pitching for the other team, which is usually how baseball is played. The game started when the first pitch was thrown. When the game started, nobody had scored any runs yet. Eventually, they did. I figured it would be helpful to know that!
Some of the players had performances that might strike a fan as “notable” or “noteworthy.” Those players include [PLAYERS, STATS.]
Anyway, this afternoon the game also ended! When it ended, there were winners and losers. If you want specifics, take a look at the little box toward the end of the article here. And if any of those results don’t sit well with you, don’t worry! These teams will be playing again tomorrow afternoon, and they will also probably play each other again later in the year, as well.
Thanks again for stopping by TwinkieTown.com, a bastion of individuality.
STUDS:
Some of the Twins, who did well!
DUDS:
A couple of the Twins, who didn’t do very well!
The Pohlad Family